Is Your Attraction Blocked?

It might not be your fault — It might be societal programming

Let’s talk about why simply “attracting” what we want is not as easy as Instagram influencers make it seem.

Ask yourself… Do you actually feel attractive?

In order to understand attraction energy, I start at the root. That is the will that lives inside of us.

The Will

You know: Free will, the will to live, when we will something to happen. Will is represented by fire, creativity, and the suit of wands in the tarot.

Attraction energy is an organic side effect of you having a will. Your free will, or the ability to want things and do things, is a magnet inside of you that creates attraction energy.

When your will is totally free, the things you desire are automatically drawn to you by your inherent attraction. When you are clear about your will, you find that the things you need just fall into place.

This is the great manifestation process that all these internet witches are trying to sell you master classes on.

You actually do not have to be conscious of your will in order to attract the things necessary to fulfill it. Your will can live in the subconscious without your awareness and the attraction energy it creates will organically pour forth from your actions and feelings.

However, because most of the will lives in the subconscious, it can be blocked by subconscious messages.

Things that block your will are

• Confusion about what you want
• Self-judgment and Self-doubt
• Following others’ will rather than your own
• An inability to see or listen to your inner voice

The “will” is a magical concept that describes what you want and desire in this life, but when these internal blockages exist the attraction magnet is not functioning with ease.

Attraction

If we are working on attracting the abundance, love, luck, or energy that we know we desire and deserve BUT our Attraction Magnet is broken… then we won’t get very far.

When it comes to blockages, a lot of teachers rightfully understand the things listed above. There are feelings about ourselves that can block us from the life that we want and deserve. Working with a coach or practitioner on these blockages is immensely helpful.

What I see missing in the co-created conversation around manifesting abundance is not the internal blockages but the external ones. The things outside of us that are contributing to our attraction energy.

Things like

• Desirability Politics
• Systematic Ableism
• White Supremacy
• Pretty Privilege
• Patriarchy

All of these structures in the external world program our beliefs about attraction.

If we focus entirely on our feelings about ourselves without challenging the systems that programmed our beliefs about what is “attractive” and what is undesirable, we will keep running in circles.

In order to tap into the full capacity of our attraction energy, we must emotionally confront and process these concepts internally. When we do, we learn that attraction is NOT what society would have us believe.

Most of our experiences with the concept of attractiveness are painful, unfair, and even traumatizing.

If you have an automatic cringe response to the concept of “attracting”, it could be because you do not fit into the societal norm about what is attractive. And believe me, the societal norm around what is attractive is narrow, unrealistic, and violent to the majority of humanity.

What is Attractive

The standard of aesthetics that we live within is based on a system that developed directly from colonization, patriarchy, and white supremacy.

There are global signs that eurocentric whiteness is the beauty standard. There is historical evidence that femininity was downright generated out of thin air to oppress. The neocolonialism of film, fashion, and materialism has become pervasive around the world.

These beauty standards were set into motion by a system that set out to take over the world… and is succeeding right before our eyes.

If you don’t think this has anything to do with our global ability to channel magic, it is time to wake up. Magic is a function of embodiment and peace, two things many of us cannot afford to cultivate in our lifetime.

When I think about a past in which magic “existed” all around us, I am thinking of a time in which all beings felt worthy of their abundance and attracted it with ease.

It is not lost on me that I benefit from pretty privilege. I know that I get more power, opportunities, and attention because of the way that I look. And it is my responsibility to understand and point out that the way I look is only seen as attractive because it meets the DNA criteria of the oppressors.

When I set out to do shadow work, I had no idea that I would have to confront these realities about attractiveness. That is why I feel so strongly that manifestation discourse includes systematic blockages to feelings of worthiness.

It is condescending to ask people to simply unpack their feelings about themselves when they are getting TOLD that they are unworthy every day.

How To Care for the Attraction Magnet

I can’t pretend I know how to challenge and unpack these realities, but I have some practices that have helped me on the path.

Rather than thinking about the blockages, I like to think of my attraction magnet as something to care for and maintain. I ask myself, “What ideas about attractiveness prevent me from accessing what I desire? Do I agree with those ideas? How can I show it in the real world?”

1. Reprogramming

Ritualistically Checking Privilege —

Be in communion with your spirit guides, ancestors, and angels about the ways you benefit from the system as well as the ways the system restricts your will.

Grieving the Reality —

Spend time in deep grief about the pain that you endure because of the oppressive environment you have been born into. Cry about feeling excluded, have compassion for yourself. This is great work to do with a therapist, practitioner, or emotional support group.

Releasing Self Blame —

Release any idea that you are what stands in your own way when the structures are obviously stacked against you. Reject the illusion of individualism.

Channel Divine Anger —

Allow yourself to ignite your will with anger and understand that compassion and anger can co-exist. Cultivate a relationship with your anger that works with your will rather than against it.

Co-Create Reality —

Seek out community by showing up for others and directly asking for help and support. Listen to others' stories and find spaces to share yours. Get creative, expressive, and put effort into showing up for others.

Reject the Illusion —

Consecrate your eyes to seeing beyond the lies of the system. Find your own definition of attractiveness and express it for yourself. Follow and subscribe to people that look and think like you.

2. Journal Prompts

Do any of these concepts affect how you feel about attractiveness?

• Desirability Politics
• Systematic Ableism
• White Supremacy
• Pretty Privilege
• Patriarchy

When do you feel most attractive?

What experiences or gifts do you have that make you resilient? (Consider things like family, community, intelligence, empathy, resourcefulness, etc.)

What does a world in which we all feel attractive look like to you?

3. Meditation

Take time with your eyes closed and your hand on your heart to feel the weight of the world on your shoulders- whatever that means to you.

After breathing into that heavy feeling, shake the world off of your shoulders by wiggling your torso. You can start small and increase the shaking to include your whole body.

Shake for as long as you feel comfortable or until you feel the burden lifting.

4. Affirmation

I have the right to exist on this planet.

My presence in this world is a gift to this world.

The system is not the reality. I am the reality.

I attract effortlessly.