Spell: Forgiveness & Compassion

A way to create a healing ritual space around pain.

This spell can be used for

• Healing after a difficult conflict with somebody
• Engaging with inner child healing
• Working toward forgiveness
• Creating space to have a difficult conversation

I understand that not every person values forgiveness as a part of the magical practice but for me it is non-negotiable. I am always working to love and understand others, even those that cause me and the world harm.

Forgiveness is the ultimate expression of my gratitude for this life and a way for me to explore the mysteries of the universe. I better understand the anatomy of my soul when I find ways to practice forgiveness and this spell is just one of many paths to deeper understanding.

It is never a requirement to forgive and not always possible. We are all on our own paths and I understand that to some people some things are just unforgivable. If the thought of forgiving somebody is triggering, you have permission to NOT start that process. Honor your psychology and healing process.

If you are ready to try forgiveness and process anger, this spell is an immensely helpful tool for doing so. I saw the benefits within a couple of days. I did the spell to heal a conflict that had a lot of trauma attached to it.

Spell work can be done in any condition, but I did mine in a ritual bath because I love doing difficult trauma work in the tub surrounded by healing water and Epsom salt. I hold a lot of my trauma in my body, so this environment helps me move freely without too much pain.

You are welcome to sit at your altar with candles and incense, lay in bed with chocolate and a notebook, or set the ritual space however you feel will bring you comfort and care.

Here are the steps:

Start with two sheets or slips of paper. You will label one piece Anger and one piece Forgiveness.

You can choose to do this exercise about a person or about yourself.

I find it useful to start with the Anger one.

Turn the paper over.

Write down all of the things that make you feel angry. The things that are unfair and hurtful. The things that this person (or you) did that created pain or changed things.

This can be in any format. A letter to that person, a list of things, or a story about what happened.

This is your chance to practice really feeling anger. You are free to cry, hit a pillow, scream, or shake your body. This is a way to honor your anger, not hide it. If you don’t get to point of feeling the anger in your body, you can still take it out in the writing.

When working with the anger energy, you can let loose. Blame the person, make it clear how they hurt you, or whatever else feels important to write.

After writing it all down, you may need to step away and take a break before moving on.

Don’t forget to take deep breaths and be mindful of your body.

Move on to the Forgiveness paper.

Here you write all of the conditions that could cause this person to behave in such a hurtful way. On this page, try to imagine what it is like to be that person. Rather than label them as “bad” or “evil”, outline the parts they had no control over.

Do not focus on their character or who they are as a person, but the environment and circumstances that they are living with — Internally or externally. You don’t even have to be nice, just neutral.

This is a difficult energy to work with.

When we think about compassion, we often think of “love and light” but the forgiveness slip can actually be more painful than the anger one.

When you are writing on the forgiveness side, you are setting aside your own pain in order to hold space for the pain of somebody that hurt you. It is shadow work and it is not easy.

Take your time with this and take breaks when and if you need to.

As always, if the emotions feel too unbearable you can come back to the practice later with a counselor or therapist.

Fold them up and hold them one in each hand.

Okay, if you made it this far then congratulations! Now it is time to perform the embodiment part of the ritual.

Ensure that the contents of the paper are not visible. Hold them in a way that you cannot see the text.

Feel them in each hand and meditate with them.

You can take note of how heavy or light they feel.

Do they burn, are they cold?

What thoughts are in your mind?

Can you witness these thoughts without judgment?

Can you have compassion for yourself?

What feelings come up for you when you are physically holding Forgiveness in one hand and Anger in the other?

Stay here for as long as you like taking deep breaths and feeling your feelings.

When you are ready, place them both together on your heart.

Hold the papers there over your heart and allow whatever feelings present in your body to come up.

This is the time that I spent the longest in meditation.

I felt myself truly embody universal truths:

I can be angry at somebody and still hold them in positive regard. People can let me down and do me wrong and still be worthy of compassion. I am capable of so much more than resentment.

This forgiveness ritual showed me:

I am powerful enough to heal and no person’s behavior has the power to obstruct that healing.

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